In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize