His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize