It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Randomize
