no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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