put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
