I wish I only lived at night.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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