tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
