the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
