I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
