I never want to see another naked old woman again.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
