you're like a bully in the Christmas story
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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