Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize