I think I just saw someone hide a body.
ugly people sure do ruin things
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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