idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Randomize
