Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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