just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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