life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize