A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
