I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
