with your own penis?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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