when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
