the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
