Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She has the best kind of daddy issues
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
