meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I hate all girls vehemently.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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