i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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