I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My breasts were aching with rage.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Randomize
