im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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