sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
