this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
