2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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