drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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