Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
