is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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