If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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