She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
