If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
