Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Me. At least after what I've been through.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
