I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Randomize
