She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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