I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
