so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
