then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
