who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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