I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Say something about gay babies.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
