I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
