"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
