allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize