Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
