my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
People in love make me want to vomit
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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