I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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