Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
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