What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
