I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
