Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize