Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
