He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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