found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
