Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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