he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
