One girl and one boy is just not enough.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
