He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
