i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
