i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
